Long Days, Short Years, Stiff Drinks

The calendar of our lives are marked not by dates or years but events. Events that lead our minds to organize the files of our existence into before and after. Before kids. After college. Before I met him. After I left him. Before the storm. After the split. Before cancer. After death. How can it be that two years have passed away since he did? And yet how can it only be two years? The passage of time when met with the enormity of loss can play such tricks. The before sometimes feeling painfully short and the after an endless expanse. But life, and time, marches steadily on despite our warped perceptions. And life is truly and magnificently good despite the fact that it must inevitably end. I love him. I miss him. In this exceptional after.

Let me start with the full disclaimer that I ADORE my children. They light up my life, amaze me (almost) every day with their capacity to learn, laugh, love, and live fully and I simply wouldn't want to be in this world without them. Obviously. That being said, they have some super annoying behaviors and habits that I could most definitely live without and in my observations of other people's offspring, these habits appear to be somewhat universal. These are things that make me roll my eyes, whisper not so nice things, and on the occasion, for fleeting but intense moments, question my decision to procreate. In no particular order, 7 habits of highly annoying children: 1. Answering the question "How was school today?" with a 15 minute monologue about the Five Days at Freddy's game you played at recess or yelling at me across the house to "Come quick!" like someone's hair is on fire only so you can corner me for approximately an eon yammering ...