How to Reduce Your Preschooler to Tears

If you've already survived the "Terrible Twos" and the wrath of a typical "Threenager" than you know how charming it can be to experience impressively violent fits of utter frustration and melodrama more suited for Shakespeare than the stage of your life. Our youngest is one month shy of four years old and let's just say that he is going out of this particular phase with an Earth (and ear drum) shattering bang.

It's become incredibly easy to reduce him to tears, shouts, tantrums, and stomps. Just when things seem to be coming to a calm and peaceful state, we are sidelined by an over the top reaction to a most mundane action. Such as:

-Cutting his fried egg into bites before he sits down at the breakfast bar. This is, apparently, only acceptable after the back end hits the barstool.

-Leaving the bed (the one he far too indiscreetly climbed into for the 8 millionth night in a row) before he wakes up and dare to attend to your older child who has a school bus to catch in 15 minutes. When will the family accept that he is the one and only?

-Starting the car while he is still buckling his seat belt regardless of the climbing heat and depleting oxygen levels. We are supposed to suffocate first if it takes that long to buckle up. #worthit

-Using a tissue to wipe both the streaming snot AND the tears from his face once he catches his breath. Tissues are only to be used for snot in this instance. Tears need to stay and dry on their own.

-Cutting two strawberries into two pieces each instead of cutting one strawberry into two. When he said he wanted two strawberries he meant he wanted one strawberry cut in half. Jane, you ignorant slut.

You get the idea. He wants it his way or you can hit the Hot Wheels highway. The dude is so entirely full of 'tude.

He also happens to be deliciously snuggable and heart soaringly huggable, which probably explains how we've all made it this far.

As baffling and frustrating and exhausting as this period can sometimes be, I also lament its coming to a close. There's something so uniquely honest and open about living life so completely out loud. Feeling things so BIG and sharing those feelings with the ones you love most? Heart on the sleeve doesn't quite do it justice.

Naturally I hope he learns to behave in a more socially acceptable manner...anecdotal evidence aside, we do endeavor to raise the boy right. In the meantime, we'll mind the order of operations and air dry our tears, one meltdown at a time.