Wednesday, May 20, 2015

The Dreaded Stomach Bug: 5 Signs It's Over


Every parent has been there.  You're just sitting there being a nice, normal family experiencing what you think is nice, normal food digestion when WHAM! Your little one turns a ghastly shade of pale, gets super quiet, and blows his insides up all over the room.

You immediately begin fooling yourself, wishing, hoping, begging in vain.  Maybe it won't happen again.  Maybe it was just a one time thing.  Surely it's possible that this was a singular, thoroughly disgusting event.

But you've been to this very messy and smelly party before.  And deep inside you know.  This isn't over.  This is just beginning.  What you've got on your hands is a stomach bug and the only question now is who will fall next.

Every sloppy and sad episode leaves you pondering, for the love of all things bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, when will this end?!  You're down to your last set of sheets and your industrial supply of Clorox wipes is running low.  Every.Single.Time it happens you think, surely that's it, right?  This is over now.

And then it's not.

When you're knee deep in puke stained sheets, it's hard to see the light at the end of the digestive health tunnel but I promise you, this too shall eventually (literally) pass.

Here are 5 signs that the dreaded stomach bug is done.
  1. A minimum of 90 minutes has passed since you last started a new load of towels, sheets, and soiled PJs.
  2. Your kitchen has been used for something other than the dispensing of saltine crackers and Pedialyte. 
  3. The television is off or alternatively, broadcasting a program of an adult nature and I don't mean the X-rated variety, just the actual human actors variety.  
  4. No longer is it necessary to share the couch with a bucket and a bunch of wet spots.  
And the biggest indicator of all…

     5.  Your child resumes copping an attitude regarding his younger sibling, your ongoing and clearly inadequate care of him, or your refusal to resume above mentioned animated movie marathon.

But don't get too comfortable if you find yourself reaching all of these milestones and more.  If there is one thing I've learned in these offensive trenches, some bugs are built to last and they won't be satisfied until they've drained every last putrid drop.  

Image credit: ClevelandClinic.org

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