Wednesday, November 25, 2015
Through those life changing and foggy (not even) few months from my dad's diagnosis to his death, I experienced every emotion in the human spectrum of feelings, some of them for longer periods than others. Some of them I hope to never feel again. Some of them I feel today. Some of them I will always feel.
There was one that I actively pursued, though. A feeling that I sought out and brought to my attention in dark and light hours alike.
That feeling is gratitude.
I was so incredibly grateful that even though we had a shockingly short amount of time left with him, we had SOME. We could talk, share, ask, and care for one another in a way that is unique to knowing the end is near.
I was so incredibly grateful for my current position as a stay-at-home mom so that I could be there and do what needed to be done without worry of lost income, time off, or leave policies.
I was so incredibly grateful that the timing worked out in such a way that my brother was able to be there with us every step of the way, no longer living so far away.
I was so incredibly grateful for the support system that held us up and kept us going, kept us fed, kept us sane, and kept us from breaking.
When I struggled to see any positive in our heart wrenching situation, I would try to focus there.
Gratitude. Be thankful.
The day before our big day of thanks seemed an appropriate time to express that gratitude again and remember it. Thank goodness for that gift, that time, that life.
It's easy to get bogged down in the negative, especially when things seem to be taking such a shitty turn in life, but with (sometimes great) effort, you can bring it back to gratitude and see how very much you truly have to be thankful for. Some that come to mind for me are...
My family, here, there, and everywhere.
My man, my spouse, my rock.
The sound of children laughing.
The open mouthed kiss of my baby.
My yoga practice.
My son's sweet smile.
My friend family.
Margaritas on Friday night.
That cheese monger at HEB Montrose Market.
Home cooked meals, including the one we will feast on tomorrow.
And stretchy waistbands that make room for more.
As you gather round your tables with family and friends, take time to reflect. Think of what your thankful for and let it be known. Share your gratitude, not just tomorrow but every single freaking day.
In time, you'll learn to be thankful for that, too.
Image Credit: positivepsychologyprogram.com.